You're Not Just a Mother
Yes, you had a child(ren), but does that mean you should lose YOUR identity? Examine a perspective that the world might find controversial and if it aligns with you, try to give NOT one single f*ck about what the world thinks.
I, too, share your shadows. You know, the one where we are always investigating our identity as a mother and ourselves outside of motherhood. So, let's explore this topic together! Thanks for sharing these moments with me, VIP. Let's get it!
Am I Me, or My Child(ren)'s Mother
You are your child(ren)'s keeper. That's a fact and no debate. You will do what is best for them. You will protect them, care for them, and you will guide them. That is not to be questioned. What is though, is how much of yourself you sacrifice in the name of the identity known as motherhood. Do you give up all you aspired, or, are aspiring to be? Do you put your passions on the back burner, so the world you know, deems you a fit mother? What pieces of you should remain in tact so that you can effectively raise your child(ren)?
"That is old news and has always been misogynistic in thought..."
I'd say all of your pieces. With the exception of those pieces that should be laid to rest after becoming a mother. Yet, that's called evolution. You are becoming a new version of yourself. The chronicle of you that happens after giving birth will bring greater gifts such as more patience, unconditional love, and selflessness. Those tools are critical and will help you do what is best for your child(ren). However, motherhood doesn't mean you should throw away all of your pre-baby identity.
In a world where the pressures to be a perfect mother screams for you to become anew, don't listen (entirely). Because they may tell you that you need to stay home with the children, that you need to relinquish all of who you were before you brought another life into this world. But, are you not worthy of utilizing your gifts outside of motherhood? Why can't you follow your dreams and still be a great mother?
Who says that you have to be barefoot and in the kitchen to show your children that you love them? That is old news and has always been misogynistic in thought. The women of today should never identify with that way of thinking. We should be identifying with the African Proverb that states, "It takes a village to raise a child." Women alone cannot do it. So, why are we made to believe we have to?
Don't do it Alone
What we can do is form a trusted community to help us bear the load. We can let the father's take the lead in domestic work, as we configure ways to share household responsibilities. In this formality, we may find it easier to chase our dreams. In chasing our dreams, we show our children how to do the same. No harm no foul. In all actuality, that is what society wants, right? They want us to raise motivated, self-sufficient humans. What better way to do that, than to model the same behavior?
Keep being an amazing mother and woman. Follow your heart, and embark on your passions. Show your child(ren) how to find their calling by staying inspired and curious.
You are courageous. You are strong and you are not wrong. Love yourself and all of the multifaceted curves and edges of you. You were born to be many things. Don't let the limitations of others stunt the beauty of your growth. All things are possible with determination, belief, and a lot of love of self. As we know, self love allows us to love others that much more. May you find the perfect grounding, for you and for your child(ren).